Funerals

So in the span of a few months I had my moms dad die and my dads mom die. I had the honor of being one of the people to carry both of them to their graves. It was a hard thing to do. I loved them both very much and miss them terribly. In the past year or two I did not spend the amount of time I may have liked with them. Moving to another town a few hours away kinda does that I guess.

Grandpa Perkins was a good ol' country boy. Grew up in southern Utah and could actually speak Navajo!!! I only found that out a few years ago! He was the most caring, funny, wonderful person.

Grandma Jensen, who we all referred to as Dodee, always had a smile. Amazing cook and loved to laugh. If you went to her house chances were high that you would end up playing games, doing puzzles, or talking for hours.

There are not enough kind words to say about either one and even still when I think about them I get a little choked up.

During these hard few months I have had a lot of time to think about the passing of those you love. I have heard many times that you'll always regret time not spent with loved ones so spend as much time as you can with them. It is true. I do regret not spending more time with them, getting to know them even better, hearing stories from their pasts. The more I thought about it however, I realized something... it wouldn't have mattered if I had spent every spare moment with them I would still feel that regret. I would still wish I had spent more time with them because I loved them and I knew that they loved me. It doesn't really matter how much time you spend with someone (unless it's really not that much) because if you love them their absence is just hard.

Another thing that has been really hard is seeing my remaining grandparents. It has made my heart hurt so much. They both spent their respective retirements together pretty much 100% of the time. Now that their other half is gone seeing the loneliness in their faces or demeanor has been really difficult. I can't imagine what that would even feel like and it almost makes me cry every time I think about them.

Man the circle of life can be really hard at times. They don't tell you that in the Lion King.

#20 Public Speaking

            I have never had a huge problem with public speaking. Every time I have had to do it I have been nervous of course but I think that is normal. I think the last time I had to do any type of public speaking was in a firefighting class a few years ago and the group I was in did a presentation to the class about fire extinguishers. It was pretty easy because fire extinguishers are pretty straight forward and it was about something that I am passionate about, firefighting. I think public speaking can be made easier when it’s about something you really enjoy.

            I am not too familiar with all the different public speaking techniques. What helps me not get too nervous is being well prepared in knowing what I want to say. I have probably half of it written down as reminders of what I want to talk about but not all.  When I am listening to others speak I find it hard to stay interested when the speaker is just reading and not looking up much or putting much emotion in it. I like it to sound more like a conversation than a report or presentation. I also like being as me as possible. I’m goofy, tell jokes, make random side note comments, I talk with my hands… maybe from the time I spent in Italy. I feel that whatever your personality is you need to incorporate that into your public speaking. You are not there just to tell people stuff but also to let people get to know you. Whether it’s your opinion, the kind of research you did, why you think this thing, whatever it is, is important to know or understand. It’s all a window into who you are. 

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#19 Someone I Admire

           One person I admire is my youngest sister, Megan. Given our family situation she spent quite a bit of time alone but she’s always been on top of things. When she was in high school she didn’t need anyone standing over her shoulder making sure she did her homework or practiced her instruments. She just did it. If things needed to be done around the house, she just did it. Her senior year she moved into an apartment with a few other girls who were just starting college and did well. In fact she had to teach her roommates how to keep the place clean!

            She’s always been a very responsible person and very frugal with her money. Whenever we would go to the store and she would see something she wanted she usually chose to save her money in case she needed something. She has always had an enjoyable personality where she knows when it’s ok to act immature and a fun and when to act serious. She has always been very caring and willing to do anything for her family. When it comes to personal problems or others problems she is able to really analyze things and not jump to conclusions or make impulsive decisions.

            At 21 she is the General Manager at a small resort and has had her own business for the past few years. In her business she has maintained a great work ethic and standards. She doesn’t let people take advantage of her for being “young and naïve.”

            My family has never been very close to one another but over the past year or two my sister and I have become a lot closer. Talking more and spending more time together which has been a big blessing in my life. 

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#18 A Hobby

            One of my many hobbies is rock climbing. I would love to spend more of my time doing it like I used to. In the post on passion I talked a bit about rock climbing but let’s see if I can expound some more on it.  Why do I choose rock climbing, well I consider myself an athlete so I enjoy the challenge of it both physically and mentally. It’s a challenge mentally for two different reasons. One because each climb is like a puzzle, it’s not painted out for you where the holds are. You have to find them in the sequence that works for you. The second reason is because you need mental endurance. You need to stay focused and determined to finish routes when you’re tired. The enjoyment of the physical challenge comes from the tiredness you feel in your arms at the end of the day. Barely being able to grab anything because your forearms are so worn out and being able to look back at what you were able to finish… what an awesome feeling.

            One of the most rewarding things about rock climbing for me is being able to stand, or hang, on top of a cliff or spire and behold the vast expanse of the world below. Knowing that I took the more challenging route, or in some cases only route, to that view. One of my favorite climbs I’ve done was in Moab, Utah. The climb was called Kor-Ingals on the Castleton Tower (one of those tall rock spires out in the desert). From the start of the climb it’s just over 400 feet to the top split up into four sections. The third of which being the most difficult because at the beginning the corner you’ve been climbing in separates and creates a 3 foot gap with no holds on either face. So for at least 20 feet you have to do what’s called a “lie back”. Grabbing the edge of the wall on the gap side you put your feet against the other wall spanning the gap and sort of walk your way up. It is a very tiring technique and I was so happy to reach the top of that section. Then when we reached the top I had a 360 degree view of the desert below and way off in the distance, snow capped mountains. So, so beautiful.

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A little rant about Colin Clark

           So this past weekend in the MLS (Major League Soccer for those who don’t know) the Houston Dynamo played the Seattle Sounders in Seattle. Almost 8 minutes into the game something quite unfortunate happened. After not being tossed the ball by the ball boy like he wanted Colin Clark of the Dynamo cursed at the boy calling him a “F***ing Fagot.” How ridiculous and pathetic is that? A grown man and professional athlete, who should be used to not getting the best treatment during away games, decides to insult and curse at a kid probably not more than 14 years old. Colin Clark will forever be an A-hole for his behavior but what I am more upset about is the media coverage of it.

            Out of all the articles I read and discussions I heard about this only one mentioned that Clark used the four letter F word along with the homosexual slur. Every reporter was so concerned with the possibility that he might have offended the homosexual community that they totally forgot about the ball boy and the expletive thrown his way. I may be going out on a limb here but I’d be willing to bet that the vast majority of reporters that wrote about this incident aren’t even homosexual. It seems to me that they’re only covering half the issue to try and impress people or gain cred by letting everyone know how PC (politically correct) they are. Give me a break! Should he have said it? No. Could it be offensive to homosexuals? Yes but if you’re not homosexual why the hell do you care? Sure it was wrong of him and it really demonstrates his character but I’m more concerned that he felt he could and somehow needed to say those things to the ball boy.

            Another thing that has bothered me is all the people that have posted comments on these articles condemning Clark for being ignorant or insensitive to homosexuals. Again I’m willing to bet that most of those people aren’t homosexual either. How is it that as a society we have become more worried about PC and less worried about the treatment of our youth? It’s almost as if discrimination is more important to people that child abuse.

Oh let’s make sure we hammer this guy because he may or may not have offended a group of people and… oh what’s that? What’s that you’re saying? He verbally abused a kid? Well that’s not as important.

Can someone please explain to me why society has developed this fear of offending the masses when, as in this case, the only person it was meant to offend the ball boy? If the ball boy was homosexual things would be a little different but not by much. There's no way Clark knew whether or not this kid is and there's no reason for us to know. We are developing into an overly sensitive society where people are more worried about what others think than just living their lives. Even if I was homosexual I wouldn’t let what Colin Clark said offend me. If he wants to be an A-hole, fine. I don’t really care. What I would be and am more concerned about is how he treated the KID.

I guess in the end all I’m saying is Clark is a first class douchebag and should be suspended and fined for how he treated the kid and we, as a society, need to grow up a little.

#16 Stereotypes

                One of my favorite stereotypes is that women are bad drivers. Unfortunately it’s one that is proven right almost every day. Occasionally I am surprised by a woman that can drive competently and safely but not too often. I find myself a little on edge every time I get into a car with a girl not knowing how it’s going to work out. After a ride or two it’s easily discerned what kind of driver they are. I hear the arguments all the time that women are actually better drivers because they are better at multitasking, but is sitting behind the wheel really a good time to multitask? Way to often do I see women doing their makeup or doing their hair while driving. I know it takes them all but eternity to get ready for… well anything but honestly could they not do it behind the wheel? For all our sakes!  Now I know I’m probably going to catch a lot of crap for writing about this with comments that men are bad drivers as well which can be true. Men can be just as bad but that’s not the stereotype now is it?

                Are stereotypes ever warranted? That’s a tough one because stereotypes can often be construed as racism. For instance I have a friend that is a waiter and he hates serving Hispanics because they almost never tip and when they do it’s very little. So given his wages and that he has to tip out kitchen and bar staff he has the potential to lose money while at work. Now it may sound like a racist thing but my friend is not racist. Insurance companies use stereotypes all the time when calculating your rates.

                In my opinion stereotypes are ok and sometimes needed but when used out of anger or hate is where I draw the line.

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